Standing in the living room, I looked to the mountains in the distance. I immediately threw up my hands and turned myself into a spinning machine. I imagined myself as Julie Andrews singing on top of the mountain, “The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music” as my husband sat with a worried look on his face. I first spun into a short bench, but somewhat gracefully caught myself and continued to spin, not missing a single word of the song. With the next verse almost completed, a chair leg caught my toe. Ouch! That chair, for some reason, seemed to have moved out of its original place! Not to be discouraged, I continued my hobbled spinning while my toe throbbed. On the last stanza of the song, my voice did a crescendo and the spinning became faster. Blinded by closed eyes with my hands held high, I smacked into a table, sending books flying everywhere. An overturned glass of water caused water to slowly drip off the edge of the table onto the carpet. My knee began to ache as a large bump and bruise started to form. At that point, my husband had enough of the singing and spinning. He sat me down, grabbed an ice bag, and with a stare that translated to a dare, firmly said, “No more.” That ended my moment as Julie Andrews.
Have you ever wanted to be like someone else other than who God created you to be? Was it hazardous to your health either physically or spiritually? I just confessed of one instance, but there are others. Yet, God had other ideas when I was created because He already had a Julie Andrews and didn’t need another. In creating me, He put a little dab of this and a little dab of that but not enough to be independent of Him.
In this instance, trying to be like another was physically unhealthy, but do we try to be like others in a different way than God has called us to be? Do we sometimes look around, compare, and have a pity party asking what is my purpose, talent or gift, and who am I? That statement and pity party, which no one attends, places the enemy in a position to sabotage all the blessings the Lord has for us. He has lovingly given us gifts, talents and purposes to fit each of us in those times when He deems it. We can try to manipulate our circumstances to fit who we want to be or how we want to be used, but when God’s not in the middle of it, we are like a pinball bumping from one object to another.
Did I believe I could write? No, I barely squeaked by with a C in English. Did I think I would stand before others and teach? No, I was paralyzed to speak publically. Did I think I would be a caretaker to my mom, dad, and sister until their deaths? No, I was a free spirit growing up. I certainly did not think I would be a pastor. Goodness, I didn’t even understand Jesus until I was an adult. Did I think I would write a book? No way. OOOOH … but God had different plans. He has “searched me and knows my heart” (Psalm 139:23 ESV). As I look back, I see how obeying in the small things grew me to be who He has desired me to be in the different seasons of life. Laying down our thoughts of purpose, and not trying to be someone else is freeing. We are called upon to “let go and let God.” When we stop “spinning” in our mind, our eyes are opened to new experiences with the Lord. Our heart begins to race after Him in different ways and we develop a new confidence and trust in Him. He knows our hearts better than we do. He knows where to lead us “along the path of everlasting life” (Psalm 139:24 NLT).
I’ll agree that at times in a particular season of life, I have felt unfulfilled while my gifts and talents seemed to lie almost dormant. No doubt, it is a battle to stop spinning on our terms. Does the spinning clay on the potter’s wheel say to the potter, “This is how I want to be fashioned”? With God’s help, we can stop spinning through obedience, trust, and patience unto Him. We can let go and allow Him to be the one who shapes and forms us into a vessel of His creation. He is always grooming our heart no matter how insignificant we may feel. Don’t become discouraged in those seasons that don’t look to be significant. God has you right where you should be. You are significant.
Let’s bow and pray:
Lord, I am not always pleased with the season you may have me in. At times, it feels like what I am doing has no value. I feel looked-over or passed-by when I see others seeming to know their purpose and using their gifts and talents. Could it be a season of rest or one I acknowledge as grooming my heart? Forgive me for not trusting You and give me patience to know You have great things for me. “Let not my heart be troubled nor be dismayed,” for You are the Author and Finisher of my life. Lord, I desire not to complain or grow weary, but instead I will give honor to You in whatever circumstance of life I am in. Thank you for trusting me to be used for Your purposes and blessing me when I am obedient. Lord, I will sing praises in abandonment unto You. Amen.